Thursday, November 11, 2010

the freedom to be different...

To look at me you might not see it.
It hides underneath.
I put on clothes, makeup and most days, do my hair so of course it would go unnoticed.
But deep within..

What only my husband and children see...I'm a bit of a freak.
Oh it's not neatness or organizational...
Not even autobiographical or psychological...

But it's there. My difference.
And so in the spirit of - honesty - I will bear my soul. My darkest secrets.

I will let the freak flag fly!

1. I listen to Christmas music all year round. It's my cozy feeling in February, my relaxing chills in summer and my holiday magic when the snow falls. It's my happiness when the sun stays out for only 7 hours, and my secret delight when I meet others who share my guilty pleasure. It's a "me" thing.
2. I like chips. Chips and dip to be exact. Really if you can dip anything, I like it. I purposefully go into the grocery store and tell myself "you don't need chips or dip, you DON'T need chips and dip" but somehow, mysteriously, they end up in my cart, and then in my bag, and before I know it, my stomach. But here's the weird thing - I don't feel guilty! I love it! It's yummy and it tastes good and it's sooooo worth it!
3. I have blue and white plates. Dinner and salad plates. And regardless of whether they are in my cupboard or I'm washing them, I stack them every other color. I can't help it! Sometimes I don't even realize I'm doing it!
4. I pick hair off people's clothes. Strangers, close friends, doesn't matter. It's a sickness.
5. I will watch a musical just to see my favorite songs, then promptly rewind the song and watch it over...many times doing the actions from the movie, or special ones I've made up just for me.
6. I am a completely different size than I was when I got married only 3 years ago. (shocking I know) I look at pictures and barely recognize myself. Freaky no?
7. I'm terrible at telling jokes. Sarcasm I have mastered for many years now, but jokes? Forget about it. Sometimes even a knock-knock can fail me miserably.
8. I love to share food, but will not take bites of someone else's meal. My husband has tried in vain to get me to "just try" whatever he ordered, but I will resist everytime. I don't take bites...but please, try some of mine!
9. I have to sleep with my bare feet out of the covers. I could be winter camping in the Alps with temperatures well below freezing, and my bare feet would be poking out of my sleeping bag.

Of course there are more, lots more I'm sure, but take these few.

We are talking in my moms' group lately about our children's uniqueness and how to channel that as mothers when things they do may be irritating or overwhelming. It made me think of some of my eccentric ways and unique behaviour.

I am woman, hear me roar! But I'm also so much more. The lady underneath...the mystery.

The total weirdness.