How do you apologize to a 2 yr. old?
My husband and I were talking tonight about our son Connor and it kinda hit us...we've given him a bad rep. Everywhere we go its, "Oh Connor is a brat...he's disobedient, he's not a nice kid, he's a treasure." And now, people seem to expect him to be bad whenever he is around. Of course we have our struggles, our moments, our days, our minutes...but he really is a sweet boy. He loves his sister, and Dada, and Mama. He loves to sing "Sunshine Mountain, Jesus Loves Me, The Itsy Bitsy Spider and Running Over", (with all the actions). He dances with me and giggles when I tickle him. He could have someone read to him for hours without moving. He loves pointing out every single car, truck or bus we see. (and I mean every one!). He gets crazy excited about his "duice" and treats and when I pray with him at night, he clasps his chubby hands together and says "en" for Amen.
He's the first. My first child, teether, walker and 2 yr. old, and already I've made mistakes with him that I don't care to admit. How is that possible in only 2 years?
This isn't a tribute, or guilt ridden post so much as I just needed someone to know that I'm sorry. I talk with friends about my frustrations and irritations, but I just never thought that would affect how people treat/view him. Everyone needs to vent right? It's human. And in the same way, every mother defends and protects what is hers, so here I go.
If you know us, please be patient. Please allow him to be 2. Please understand that WE do give consequences and that he will understand if he does something wrong. Please let him be a boy. Let him make mistakes. But overall, please don't judge him on something I've said in weakness or annoyance.
He is one of the 3 loves of my life and I wouldn't trade him for anything.
Psalms Week 1 : An Introduction
2 years ago
I can't tell you how much my heart echos what you said. I do the same thing to my sweet babies and when someone treats them harshly or without patience I realize that I've set them up to do so. I've always seen C as such a sweet boy. Ready for life with a smile and I would never judge him or his mama for normal two behavior.
ReplyDeleteI ditto Lola. Also, i have never seen him that way- He is so toned down with my active sons. Boys are just active. The firstborn has it the hardest that way- I continually feel for Juils because she received all my firsts. I always will struggle with guilt on her behalf because she makes it easier for the other 2. Unfortunately =parenting is learning as you go. You are an incredible mother and while you are right that people go with what the mom says- most also come to their own conclusions. Those who mistake venting for absolute truth are maybe less experienced or have forgotten what it is like.
ReplyDeleteYou have a beautiful family- normal and we love spending time with you. Those who expect prime behaviour from a 2 year old maybe need to re assess their expectations. You are right to defend him- and you are right to vent too. I am sorry your heart is breaking for him. It is hard to already witness the unfair state that sometimes happens. I liked this post- it echoes my heart too.
See you soon!
Don't think you're alone in this because believe me, you're not. It isn't just when it comes to your children, I've noticed the same with some friends who seem unable to realize that it's venting and forget that friends vent with friends. I think us girls tend to vent because it helps us stay sane and remember the bigger picture, it's not at all because we believe it to be true 24/7. You are not alone!!! *hug*
ReplyDeleteThis is a beautiful post - made me tear up a little bit. Sadly, many parents never realize they are doing this even after their children are grown and have left the home. I know we have to be careful with one of my nieces who had a few years of "goofing off" in her late teens and now she's turned over a new leaf and is doing really well and we sometimes forget to speak about her as if she is doing any great things with her life. Even though in our hearts we've never stopped noticing how wonderful she is, it's easy to fall into the rut of "venting" and then other people don't have any expectations of her to do well. I think it's AMAZING that you are realizing when Connor is only 2 how much you can influence the way other people see your child. I think that makes you great parents because you're obviously reflecting on your words and actions. Connor is lucky to have a wonderful "Dada" and "Mama" - I wish we lived closer so I could be one of those people who gets to read to him. :)
ReplyDeleteI know that we have only spent time with you very briefly once, but I thought your little man was great and you both seemed like you were proud of your kids and loved being parents which is always such an encouragement to me!
ReplyDelete- Marissa