"...Mawidge that bwessed awangement!
A dweam within a dweam..."
I was talking with my brother (newly engaged) the other night and he was going on about his sweetie and how much he misses her and wishes he could spend more time with her. Aw...right? Except for at that moment as he rattled on and on, I looked over at my husband lying on the couch and recalled how the day before we had argued...for quite some time...about the mailkey. A mailkey? Really? How did we go from "dating bliss" to 30 hot headed minutes of "who should get the mail". ???
Listening to him talk, I started to miss the dating we had...everything being exciting and lovely. Hearts skipping, feeling flustered, wanting to never be apart, late night phone conversations. Oh those were great times! So exciting.
But wait - am I saying that marriage is nothing like that? Isn't that the message society sends? Excitement, passion, and freedom are all chucked out the window the minute you say "I do". No more fun. No more romance. No more you.
Not true.
Of course it isn't the same relationship as it was when you are dating...you are living with this person! Eating, sleeping, washing, cleaning, etc. Everything becomes different and little things (aka. the mailkey) become a big deal. I'm not entirely sure this can be avoided. When God posed the idea of marriage to His fellow angels, I wonder if they thought "Ok so you take two flawed humans...they fall in love, get married, have kids, deal with stress and life and have different opinions and they are supposed to stay together forever? Riiiight...go team."
And so the relationship changes....but it gets better! It's fine to let your mind drift to those "glory days", but there is no way I want to go back there. Are you kidding? I love marriage!
I LOVE that I wake up/go to bed with him every night/every morning.
I LOVE that he buys me donuts/chips/candy when he knows I'm having a tough day.
I LOVE that he still tries to romance me at the most inopportune times just to make me laugh.
I LOVE that I my heart still flutters when his hand brushes mine.
I LOVE that he calls me throughout the day just to say hi.
I LOVE that we are silly.
I LOVE that we fight about the "mailkey" and other such nonsense(which was properly resolved by the way)
I LOVE that when I get up in the morning I see the Bible on the table that he was reading while eating cereal before work.
I LOVE MY MARRIAGE!
*I know that to some of you "seasoned" wedded people, this is not news, but in this world we have to fight for our marriages and maybe I gave you a reason to be thankful for yours today?
Jeka.. somedays it IS work. Love is an action, it isn't a feeling.
ReplyDeleteI miss those glory days too.. when we finally figured out we were more than life long friends, when we started dating, the first time holding hands OH how ELECTRIC it was! The first kiss that almost made me pass out..
And yes, we argue. (he loves to, apparently, like gets a charge out of it, for some strange reason)
but last summer when he was away for 7 nights in lockup doing strike duty at work, and I was alone at my dinner table, alone in our bed.. only talking to him briefly once or twice a day.. no email, no texts.. those phone calls were so precious, and i missed him soooo much.
I wouldn't trade marriage for the electric days of dating either. Yes, it's work some days. Yes, the spark/rush isn't the same as it was then, but what we have now is so much deeper, stronger, less fickle. Becoming one flesh, we sometimes take it for granted.
I've done some reading, about keeping the romance alive - it's always good to brush up, and keep working on the health of our marriage, just as we should our physical, mental & spiritual health.
Fabulous post my friend.. you are an amazing writer, and you've blessed me today. thank you.
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ReplyDeleteAwwww, mawidge is what bwings us togewer today!
ReplyDeleteI love this post.
I love that your heart still flutters when he touches your hand.
I love that you love being married.
But I especially love the line about how your brother "rattled on and on" .... too funny! :D
(Sorry, last post had extreme type-os thus the delete. My brain is apparently a little foggy today.) :)