Done...

I wonder at how you 'know' when you are finished having kids. You see the chubby, smudgy faces before you and somehow you know...this is the extent of my family. These are the faces I hope to see for years to come. Just these. 

What does it mean to say "I'm done"? What does that feel like? Look like? Is it even our decision? I truly believe that if we are supposed to have more, the One who gave me the freedom to decide, would make that known to us...

And, is it selfish for me to weigh the pros and cons between 3 or 4, when some struggle and wait for just 1? 

I was surrounded by lovely, bulging/swollen bellies this past weekend. Dear friends all at different stages of pregnancy and family. One is awaiting her first; one her second; and one her third. They were radiant, glowing, exhausted, sore, uncomfortable....but all with such love and maternal expectation in their eyes. 

We have said no to that. We are content with the sweet family we have been given.

And yet.....I will miss it. 

I will miss the moving in my belly, the battle of the perfect name, the excitement of new life and anticipation of sweet babe. 

The smell of them seconds after they arrive...

Maybe the yearning never goes away.

Maybe it is their to constantly remind us of the great, awesome and overwhelming gift we have been given. 

She's sitting up! :)

Whats been going on:

• Malia was 6 mo. on the 12th. Hard to believe so much time has passed since that sweet girl has come into our lives. She is such a blessing and I am so thankful for her each day.
• Sophie is refusing to potty train. Many attempts. Few successes. More fails. I'm pretty sure this means she is just not ready, but I wish she was. I know I need to be patient and let her do it in her own time, but I'm ready to stop changing her bum. 
• Connor and I have been doing "school" each day to prepare him for preschool in the fall. We count, spell and recently started doing pattern work and a bit or math(computer game). He is SO ready and I'm very excited to watch him enter a totally new stage. I can't wait for him to come home and tell me all the cool things he did in class. 
• Dave is loving his job as carpenter, father and husband. He is so amazing with the kids and they are so excited to see him every day when he comes home. He and Connor are reading through the Narnia collection. So sweet for them to have that special time each night. (He and Sophie read too, but nothing quite that long.) 
• And me, well I would say after baby #3 and 2 moves, I am finally getting into a schedule/rhythm of my own. Laundry, cleaning, chores, quality time with kids, quality time with husband....it seems to be coming together a bit more. 
• Resolutions? I'm challenging myself to pray more and work out every day. (although since working out every day, have recently torn a muscle in my chest - thought I was having a heart attack the pain was so bad - and am currently trying to recover from that. Ouch!). 

And some pictures:

Heading outside!

Christmas Eve Jammies

New Years Eve Superhero Party

Dave was "Office Supply Man", I was "Safety Girl" 

(we were practical superheroes)

My big helpers!