Picture it.

Outdoor patio.
People smiling while sharing lunch together.
Soft breeze, warm sun, laughter and the smells of fresh hot food in the air.
Now look closer at the table in the back and in the corner. You'll see 2 parents doubled over in giggles whilst their children (ALL 3) are crying around the table.
You may wonder why these people are ignoring the obvious needs of their offspring and choosing the "laugh track" over discipline, but let me tell you, it was more a survival thing than anything. You know the "laugh to keep from crying" bit?
We attempted a shopping trip to Ikea. Actually, it went so well there, we were confident lunch would be just as great! We were wrong. I'm not even sure what happened to set everyone off at once. I suppose it was something really important like asking them to stop shrieking at the birds and eat their lunch, but the crying started. Like a wave it swept over the whole table and even Malia joined in for a time.
My husband and I just looked at each other. I was considering the "let's just go eat in the van" scenario when he looked at me and with a smirk on his face said, "We chose this. No one's to blame but ourselves." And the funniness of the moment hit. So we laughed. Big, loud, belly laughs at the perfect comic timing of his comment. It was what we needed.
Of course the crying did not last long and we WERE able to enjoy our patio lunch in the city, but it got me thinking. So often I may be opening up to friends/family about a frustration with one of children, and I get a comment similar to "And NOW you have 3!" or "Thats why I would NEVER have 3". Not helpful at all, but thanks. Sometimes we moms and dads just need to talk about our irritations. It does not in any way mean we regret having the children we do, or when we did, or spacing them so close. We don't. I love the ages my kids are at regardless of the chaos at times. But we are entitled to have bad days/ bad moments every now and then.

But now for some good moments.

When two become three...

It's amazing how adding one tiny human can suddenly make me feel like "I've accomplished something" when everyone gets breakfast before 10am. Or we are all in clean, non-pajama clothes before Daddy gets home from work. Or maybe it's great that I had time to load the dishawasher AND do a load of laundry.
Suddenly, going for a walk - an outing that I have always enjoyed - seems wrought with so many "barriers" and obstacles...and a checklist of diapers, soothers, blankets, snacks, hats, etc. Inevitably, by the time we are all loaded up, someone is unhappy and crying and no amount of walking will calm them. Why did it seem hard before?
But I'm learning.
Right now my days are calm and quiet; no major plans or outings scheduled (unless I want them to be). I am trying to be brave and "get out there" more...I have to get used to it at some point!
And my kids are learning too. They are seeing the value of how when they obey, Mommy is proud of them. They are learning to be older siblings and "big helpers". They are handling the new addition very well and I couldn't be happier about that - but I feel like it's me. I'm having trouble getting myself in a routine.
And I know it takes time.
And patience.
And organization.
I can do it. It's just that most days it seems easier to not.

Some pictures of my new family are coming - just as soon as I find the cord thingy...

Malia Elizabeth...

(For those who perhaps have questions, it's pronounced "Ma-LEE-A".)

I didn't expect to be almost 6 days overdue, but thats exactly what happened. My due date came and went and twice I went to the hospital thinking, 'this is it" only to be told, "No, it's not" and was sent home feeling oh so embarrassed and disappointed.
Tuesday July 12, I went to see my OB for an appt. He said I was 3cm (had been for days) and asked if tomorrow I would come in so he could break my water. Great. Let's just do this thing. So I left, went and did some grocery shopping and came home. We hung out in the living room with the kids, my Mom and Beth (my sister). I stood up to start making supper, and my water broke. Strangest feeling ever when you have clothes on and are not in a hospital room. We all sort of looked at each other for a moment - kinda dazed and confused - then we lept into action. Call Dave at work! Where's my bag? Can you grab my water? The time was just after 5 pm. By the time we got to the hospital, it was around 5:30 and after my intital assesment and first round of anti-biotic(group B) it was just after 6. I still wasn't feeling many contractions at this point, so we went walking around the halls, peeked in the delivery rooms and watched some TV.




(The time frame gets a bit fuzzy here as we didn't have a clock in our waiting area.)




When the pain began getting so bad that I couldn't talk, I was moved to the delivery room and measured around 6cm. In no time at all though, I was feeling the urge to push and told the nurses so. They assured me this couldn't be and that I was not allowed to push because I could damage my cervix. About 5 contractions later - each with a stronger urge to push, I again let them know that this was for real, but was told I needed to breathe through the sensation. Ya right! Cuz thats SO EASY! Then give me the epidural I said...I can't keep this up for an hour or two. The anesthesiologist was called, but because it was later at night, we would need to wait for them to drive in from home. A few more contractions, and I couldn't hold it in anymore and my body began pushing. Finally the nurses checked me again and to their surprise, I was fully dilated and ready to go! I had gone from 6-10 in 15 minutes.
So without the supervision of my OB, we began. 2 pushes in her head came out with the cord around her neck. (I didn't know this until later, but I remember the room going strangely quiet). Apparently she was quite blue and again I was told to not push. Remembering the advice of a dear friend I used some breathing techniques to hold her in while they got rid of the cord around her. 3 more pushes and she was out!




Born at 9:25 pm, she weighed in at 8 pounds 15 oz. BIG BABY! About two minutes after her big debut, my doctor came rushing through the door. (He had left his car running in the parking lot and had bolted up the stairs, but still he was too late. His face was so surprised!) He did one stitch and then was on his way.
Also, my sister Beth (who captured many amazing moments on film for us) did great! She was a calm, supportive help to me and to Dave. We are so thankful that she made us a priority and chose to be here for Malia`s birth. Hope she is not too traumatized by everything she saw! :)


It was a great birth. Short. Intense. But not too traumatic on my body. It felt amazing to be walking around within minutes of her arrival and I know I got the birth I had always heard about. We were left alone to try different positions and do things in our own way and our own time.
It was a perfect note to end on. A wonderful way to bring this part of my life to a close.
And now we are a unit of 5. So far the kids are doing great. Sophie can't stop kissing her and Connor is somewhat uninterested/overprotective.



Thanks to all those that were praying for me and for Malia. It is such an amazing thing to be prayed for! :)

40 weeks on Thursday.
Been in labor since Friday.
Only 2 cm.

sigh...

Hurry up sweet baby!

Gettin better all the time...

Summer.
Nothing seems quite so bad in the summer. I mean, minus bugs that bite and buzz, the pros FAR outweigh the cons.

- smells of barbecue
- flowers and trees in full bloom
- sun kissed cheeks and sun bleached hair
- no shoes
- tan lines
- sprinklers and bubbles
- sidewalk chalk and the pictures it makes
- warm nights where two can sit, sipping anything, and no words need be spoken.

sigh...
Our transition to new town, new friends, new house has been going well. We are meeting people slowly and Dave is finding friends at work. The kids are enjoying the perks of a fenced in yard and are growing closer everyday. The scheming together has already started, and though I'm not sure sometimes what they are up to, I enjoy watching them bond.
I'm so ready to be finished with being pregnant. My body is just so done. Actually, for a few weeks now, I have constant popping/cracking in my pelvis/pubic bone - did anyone out there ever struggle with that? Very painful and makes moving quickly difficult. I'm sure my doubts are unfounded, but it makes me worry about delivery and whether those bones will hold up or not...I see my OB in 2 weeks, so hopefully he can address some of my concerns. Other than that, baby is moving LOTS and I have "dropped" quite significantly. I'm carrying so similar to how I was with Connor, that I think it may be a boy - but who knows?? It might be easier if it was a boy, because we are having a terrible time landing on the perfect name for a baby girl. :)
Some friends of mine from back home have just had babies and I'm so anxious to cradle a newborn again. Don't they smell amazing?

some things...

- It seems we are as moved in as we can be for the moment. Pictures hanging, clothes in drawers, cupboards bulging are all good signs that this is "home" for now.
- I have misplaced my camera and therefore have no pictures of the house, Connor's 3rd b-day, or my immense stomach. Praying that it becomes found soon!
- My cousin is getting married this weekend in Wisconsin, and I am the only one not able to go. (My doctor cautioned me about being in a car for 35+ hours being 8 months pregnant.) It is so incredibly sad to miss...I wish them all the best and can't wait to see pictures/video when my family comes back!
- 33 weeks prego and I'm nowhere ready(mentally) to be the mommy of 3. Just lots has been going on and things are busy. Every once in awhile, it hits me and I zone out for a bit thinking of the pain, the joy, and the adjustment. SO HAPPY to have my mom and my sister(who will be visiting for a long time) close to help me.
- I'm missing my town and my friends quite a bit. Dave is meeting lots of new guys at work and thats great...but I'm at home with kids in a place where most social "Mom's groups" have shut down for the summer. We wander aimlessly to parks and often are the only family there...so ya. Just feeling a bit of disconnect, but I know thats normal and it pass. Seeing friends this weekend will definitely pick me up a lot! :) Connor especially though, seems to notice the lack of "fwiends" in his life. Everytime we load up for a walk or drive, he asks, "See some kids Mom? Some fwiends?". Would appreciate prayers that he will meet some little people to help connect as well.

I think thats all for now. Hopefully will locate my camera and soon be able to share photos from our new life with you!

I didn't, but I did.

I didn't get a dozen roses delivered to my door.
I didn't get un-interrupted sleep the night before.
I didn't arise to find new jewellry, clothes or gifts.
I didn't find the house all clean to give my spirit a little "lift".
I didn't get a gourmet meal brought to me in bed.
Nor did I get hours by myself to relax and escape the dread.

BUT

Two sleepy faces greeted me and tugged me out of bed.
I felt the kicks inside myself and tousled messy heads.
I smelled the coffee brewing and heard my husband making toast.
I sat with no agenda and read some books (which I love the most!)
I took a lengthy shower, plucked my eyebrows, did my hair.
I opened up some cards and enjoyed how they did share,
A scribbled piece of paper that had been painted with such care.

We sat together as a fam and sang the hymns of old.
I pondered with amazement at the lessons being told.
I felt encouraged and renewed - my mind was still...at peace.
"I know I'm far from perfect Lord, but your mercy does not cease."

It might not have been textbook or the way it "should be done",
But this Mother's Day it seems, that I'M the lucky one.

Happy Mothers Day!