Christmas...on a Sunday?

Has this hit anyone else yet?
Christmas...on Sunday? Not everyone's "ideal Christmas morning" am I right?
For sure it's messing with "my plan" for the day. The perfect morning (in my head at least). Excited kids, coffee, waffles and presents. Family time. No rushing or schedule, just us 5 enjoying the morning. Isn't that what Christmas is about? What I want. What my kids want. What the family wants?

 Oh wait...Christmas?
  Christ?

 I think initially it's easy to say, "Me..me...me..." but the more I think about it, the more I realize how much it needs to be "Him...Him...HIM!". I don't need the perfect morning, or afternoon or weekend.
I need the perfect focus on the REASON for why there is celebration.
I need Jesus. 

Do you feel that its easy to put so many other things before our Savior at Christmas?
How about you? How are you celebrating the holidays?
Whether you choose to be in your local church or stay home and enjoy the family time & tradition, may it bring you great joy! :)

 Some Christmas cheer around here.

Merry Christmas! :) 

It's been awhile.
Lots has happened and while I long to just snuggle up with blanket, coffee and keyboard, time does not permit.
So here are some recent family photos....

They like me for me...

I like that my kids don't have a stereotype for the perfect 'Mommy". I know the day will come when I will do things that are so 'uncool' and 'old' and they will wish they had someone else's mom.
But for now, I enjoy that they like me for me....



They don't notice greasy hair or sweatpants.
They don't see bushy eyebrows or spotted skin.
They don't care if the voices I make while reading a book make sense with the character I portray.



They just like me...for me.



They don't think I look ridiculous when I dance with them.
They don't hear my voice falter when I reach for that high note on their favorite song.
They don't notice when the rug needs cleaning, furniture needs dusting and laundry is piling up in the corner.



They love my silly faces.
They like my cooking. (most of the time)
They want my snuggles.
They ask for my kiss.
They forgive my impatience.
They whisper "I love you."



Today I didn't have to be size 2. I wasn't expected to be 'made up' and perfect.
Today I was only and always....me.

My sweet Malia is growing so fast....




She is such a happy girl!

Picture it.

Outdoor patio.
People smiling while sharing lunch together.
Soft breeze, warm sun, laughter and the smells of fresh hot food in the air.
Now look closer at the table in the back and in the corner. You'll see 2 parents doubled over in giggles whilst their children (ALL 3) are crying around the table.
You may wonder why these people are ignoring the obvious needs of their offspring and choosing the "laugh track" over discipline, but let me tell you, it was more a survival thing than anything. You know the "laugh to keep from crying" bit?
We attempted a shopping trip to Ikea. Actually, it went so well there, we were confident lunch would be just as great! We were wrong. I'm not even sure what happened to set everyone off at once. I suppose it was something really important like asking them to stop shrieking at the birds and eat their lunch, but the crying started. Like a wave it swept over the whole table and even Malia joined in for a time.
My husband and I just looked at each other. I was considering the "let's just go eat in the van" scenario when he looked at me and with a smirk on his face said, "We chose this. No one's to blame but ourselves." And the funniness of the moment hit. So we laughed. Big, loud, belly laughs at the perfect comic timing of his comment. It was what we needed.
Of course the crying did not last long and we WERE able to enjoy our patio lunch in the city, but it got me thinking. So often I may be opening up to friends/family about a frustration with one of children, and I get a comment similar to "And NOW you have 3!" or "Thats why I would NEVER have 3". Not helpful at all, but thanks. Sometimes we moms and dads just need to talk about our irritations. It does not in any way mean we regret having the children we do, or when we did, or spacing them so close. We don't. I love the ages my kids are at regardless of the chaos at times. But we are entitled to have bad days/ bad moments every now and then.

But now for some good moments.

When two become three...

It's amazing how adding one tiny human can suddenly make me feel like "I've accomplished something" when everyone gets breakfast before 10am. Or we are all in clean, non-pajama clothes before Daddy gets home from work. Or maybe it's great that I had time to load the dishawasher AND do a load of laundry.
Suddenly, going for a walk - an outing that I have always enjoyed - seems wrought with so many "barriers" and obstacles...and a checklist of diapers, soothers, blankets, snacks, hats, etc. Inevitably, by the time we are all loaded up, someone is unhappy and crying and no amount of walking will calm them. Why did it seem hard before?
But I'm learning.
Right now my days are calm and quiet; no major plans or outings scheduled (unless I want them to be). I am trying to be brave and "get out there" more...I have to get used to it at some point!
And my kids are learning too. They are seeing the value of how when they obey, Mommy is proud of them. They are learning to be older siblings and "big helpers". They are handling the new addition very well and I couldn't be happier about that - but I feel like it's me. I'm having trouble getting myself in a routine.
And I know it takes time.
And patience.
And organization.
I can do it. It's just that most days it seems easier to not.

Some pictures of my new family are coming - just as soon as I find the cord thingy...

Malia Elizabeth...

(For those who perhaps have questions, it's pronounced "Ma-LEE-A".)

I didn't expect to be almost 6 days overdue, but thats exactly what happened. My due date came and went and twice I went to the hospital thinking, 'this is it" only to be told, "No, it's not" and was sent home feeling oh so embarrassed and disappointed.
Tuesday July 12, I went to see my OB for an appt. He said I was 3cm (had been for days) and asked if tomorrow I would come in so he could break my water. Great. Let's just do this thing. So I left, went and did some grocery shopping and came home. We hung out in the living room with the kids, my Mom and Beth (my sister). I stood up to start making supper, and my water broke. Strangest feeling ever when you have clothes on and are not in a hospital room. We all sort of looked at each other for a moment - kinda dazed and confused - then we lept into action. Call Dave at work! Where's my bag? Can you grab my water? The time was just after 5 pm. By the time we got to the hospital, it was around 5:30 and after my intital assesment and first round of anti-biotic(group B) it was just after 6. I still wasn't feeling many contractions at this point, so we went walking around the halls, peeked in the delivery rooms and watched some TV.




(The time frame gets a bit fuzzy here as we didn't have a clock in our waiting area.)




When the pain began getting so bad that I couldn't talk, I was moved to the delivery room and measured around 6cm. In no time at all though, I was feeling the urge to push and told the nurses so. They assured me this couldn't be and that I was not allowed to push because I could damage my cervix. About 5 contractions later - each with a stronger urge to push, I again let them know that this was for real, but was told I needed to breathe through the sensation. Ya right! Cuz thats SO EASY! Then give me the epidural I said...I can't keep this up for an hour or two. The anesthesiologist was called, but because it was later at night, we would need to wait for them to drive in from home. A few more contractions, and I couldn't hold it in anymore and my body began pushing. Finally the nurses checked me again and to their surprise, I was fully dilated and ready to go! I had gone from 6-10 in 15 minutes.
So without the supervision of my OB, we began. 2 pushes in her head came out with the cord around her neck. (I didn't know this until later, but I remember the room going strangely quiet). Apparently she was quite blue and again I was told to not push. Remembering the advice of a dear friend I used some breathing techniques to hold her in while they got rid of the cord around her. 3 more pushes and she was out!




Born at 9:25 pm, she weighed in at 8 pounds 15 oz. BIG BABY! About two minutes after her big debut, my doctor came rushing through the door. (He had left his car running in the parking lot and had bolted up the stairs, but still he was too late. His face was so surprised!) He did one stitch and then was on his way.
Also, my sister Beth (who captured many amazing moments on film for us) did great! She was a calm, supportive help to me and to Dave. We are so thankful that she made us a priority and chose to be here for Malia`s birth. Hope she is not too traumatized by everything she saw! :)


It was a great birth. Short. Intense. But not too traumatic on my body. It felt amazing to be walking around within minutes of her arrival and I know I got the birth I had always heard about. We were left alone to try different positions and do things in our own way and our own time.
It was a perfect note to end on. A wonderful way to bring this part of my life to a close.
And now we are a unit of 5. So far the kids are doing great. Sophie can't stop kissing her and Connor is somewhat uninterested/overprotective.



Thanks to all those that were praying for me and for Malia. It is such an amazing thing to be prayed for! :)

40 weeks on Thursday.
Been in labor since Friday.
Only 2 cm.

sigh...

Hurry up sweet baby!

Gettin better all the time...

Summer.
Nothing seems quite so bad in the summer. I mean, minus bugs that bite and buzz, the pros FAR outweigh the cons.

- smells of barbecue
- flowers and trees in full bloom
- sun kissed cheeks and sun bleached hair
- no shoes
- tan lines
- sprinklers and bubbles
- sidewalk chalk and the pictures it makes
- warm nights where two can sit, sipping anything, and no words need be spoken.

sigh...
Our transition to new town, new friends, new house has been going well. We are meeting people slowly and Dave is finding friends at work. The kids are enjoying the perks of a fenced in yard and are growing closer everyday. The scheming together has already started, and though I'm not sure sometimes what they are up to, I enjoy watching them bond.
I'm so ready to be finished with being pregnant. My body is just so done. Actually, for a few weeks now, I have constant popping/cracking in my pelvis/pubic bone - did anyone out there ever struggle with that? Very painful and makes moving quickly difficult. I'm sure my doubts are unfounded, but it makes me worry about delivery and whether those bones will hold up or not...I see my OB in 2 weeks, so hopefully he can address some of my concerns. Other than that, baby is moving LOTS and I have "dropped" quite significantly. I'm carrying so similar to how I was with Connor, that I think it may be a boy - but who knows?? It might be easier if it was a boy, because we are having a terrible time landing on the perfect name for a baby girl. :)
Some friends of mine from back home have just had babies and I'm so anxious to cradle a newborn again. Don't they smell amazing?

some things...

- It seems we are as moved in as we can be for the moment. Pictures hanging, clothes in drawers, cupboards bulging are all good signs that this is "home" for now.
- I have misplaced my camera and therefore have no pictures of the house, Connor's 3rd b-day, or my immense stomach. Praying that it becomes found soon!
- My cousin is getting married this weekend in Wisconsin, and I am the only one not able to go. (My doctor cautioned me about being in a car for 35+ hours being 8 months pregnant.) It is so incredibly sad to miss...I wish them all the best and can't wait to see pictures/video when my family comes back!
- 33 weeks prego and I'm nowhere ready(mentally) to be the mommy of 3. Just lots has been going on and things are busy. Every once in awhile, it hits me and I zone out for a bit thinking of the pain, the joy, and the adjustment. SO HAPPY to have my mom and my sister(who will be visiting for a long time) close to help me.
- I'm missing my town and my friends quite a bit. Dave is meeting lots of new guys at work and thats great...but I'm at home with kids in a place where most social "Mom's groups" have shut down for the summer. We wander aimlessly to parks and often are the only family there...so ya. Just feeling a bit of disconnect, but I know thats normal and it pass. Seeing friends this weekend will definitely pick me up a lot! :) Connor especially though, seems to notice the lack of "fwiends" in his life. Everytime we load up for a walk or drive, he asks, "See some kids Mom? Some fwiends?". Would appreciate prayers that he will meet some little people to help connect as well.

I think thats all for now. Hopefully will locate my camera and soon be able to share photos from our new life with you!

I didn't, but I did.

I didn't get a dozen roses delivered to my door.
I didn't get un-interrupted sleep the night before.
I didn't arise to find new jewellry, clothes or gifts.
I didn't find the house all clean to give my spirit a little "lift".
I didn't get a gourmet meal brought to me in bed.
Nor did I get hours by myself to relax and escape the dread.

BUT

Two sleepy faces greeted me and tugged me out of bed.
I felt the kicks inside myself and tousled messy heads.
I smelled the coffee brewing and heard my husband making toast.
I sat with no agenda and read some books (which I love the most!)
I took a lengthy shower, plucked my eyebrows, did my hair.
I opened up some cards and enjoyed how they did share,
A scribbled piece of paper that had been painted with such care.

We sat together as a fam and sang the hymns of old.
I pondered with amazement at the lessons being told.
I felt encouraged and renewed - my mind was still...at peace.
"I know I'm far from perfect Lord, but your mercy does not cease."

It might not have been textbook or the way it "should be done",
But this Mother's Day it seems, that I'M the lucky one.

Happy Mothers Day!

Boxes and boxes...

The intense packing has begun and goodbyes are being scheduled and said.
5 more days and we will be gone.
It went fast, and slow and then fast again.

On the up side, after waiting for 3 years, I FINALLY have crown moulding and baseboard in my house. :) So I can enjoy it for 4 whole days and then someone else will.
Oh yes, WE HAVE RENTERS! :)
Am I surprised that God provided the perfect couple? No.
Of course He would and did. It makes my doubt and worry seem so silly, but the process was important. He provides doesn't He? I'm overwhelmed with the mystery of His timing and a thankful heart.

hmm...

and so I need to prepare myself for farewells and "see ya's!". Lately anything is moving me to tears so I am hoping people will be understanding if while walking, talking, shopping or packing I am reduced to a mere puddle on the floor.
I so hate to be leaving this town in the summer. It pure magic.

As moving day approaches, I'm discovering that instead of clinging to loved ones here in town, I am pulling away. Strange because I don't do it purposefully, and yet it happens time after time. I keep asking "Why?" and after getting no reply, have come to my own conclusions.
- this may be my personal way of coping with the move. I know there will be distance and connections lost, so perhaps this is my way of dealing with it early?
- I have a feeling of "whats the point?" when my mind thinks of starting a new group/study, approaching a new friend, or attending an event.
- I've been sick for over 2 weeks now, and on top of being pregnant, I just seem to have no energy to do "extra's".

hmm... I think the biggest reason though, is my discouragement. The fact that no one has rented our house yet, really has me feeling anxious for a few reasons.
- Financially: we can make it work to pay for two houses, but we really don't want to do that. Our living would be tight and we would love to just have the means to explore our new city and not feel money pressed. It is just putting stress on both of us right now and only adding to the problem I mentioned before.
- Emotionally/Mentally: This one is the big one. Our entire journey to move to this new place has been so "heaven sent". Every step of the way we have felt God leading and opening doors and just confirming that this is the right step for us...until now. I'm not saying God can't do amazing things still or that He has failed us; but it keeps replaying over and over in my mind that maybe we aren't supposed to be going? Again, I know that those thoughts are not from God and so I am angry at myself for not having adequate faith and trust in my Creator.

sigh...it's a vicious cycle. My doubting and worry only make me upset in my horrible ability to put God in a box and say, "It can't be done!".
I know it can.
I know He will provide.
I know I need to stop thinking, and start trusting.
I know we will be alright.
This is not the attitude I envisioned having 3 weeks before we leave. I'm just asking for prayer my friends. I seek a happy heart, and a life full of faith, trust and love. I ache already for how lonely it will be for a time and how I will miss those here. I want to enjoy them while I can.

Sick...of being sick!

For the 3rd time in 2 months, I have a sinus cold/infection. In all my other pregnancies, I have avoided taking any kind of medicine...even Tylenol, because I just want to be on the safe side. HOWEVER, this particular time, I'm having trouble sleeping, no appetite and cough candies or lemon and honey cause uncomfortable heartburn.
So I went to the hospital today. 4 hours later I left and still had not seen a doctor. 4 patients came in with severe chest pain and 2 babies with high fevers - so I get it, but it was discouraging. I think the only thing that will take care of it for good, would be antibiotics, and yet I'm still hesitant.
Any advice out there?
Anything that can help?
I've tried all the natural ways and they just aren't cutting it!

Thankful for my husband today though. He chipped right in and did the kids,laundry, dishes and vacuuming. Sigh...lucky I am. :)

Bittersweet

It changes from minute to minute - hour to hour - day to day.

Excited. Fearful.
Happy. Sad.
Encouraged. Discouraged.
Expectant. Anxious.

I've moved alot during my life and each time was filled with adjustment and hurt. Leaving behind friends, family and memories is hard for everyone, but it seems to affect children on a different level. Potty training, sleeping through the night - these things seem to go out the window...perhaps a way of dealing with something new. But each time we moved, I grew stronger. More secure that I could start over, meet new friends and make a "new life" wherever we were.
I've always been fine with the thought that "I will go where my husband goes/lives". It's been my feeling that as a couple we would decide if/when a move would be right for our family. And the decision would be made together - unified in our final conclusion.
Well the time has come. For awhile now it has been pretty common knowledge that we are ready to move on in terms of location and job opportunity for Dave. The "when" has been postponed many times for lack of finances, time and faith. We just haven't been able to get it all right.
And then we did - HE did. He opened some doors (and though some still remain to be opened) and we are moving May 1!
It's crazy because it is going to come fast and there is much to do. And though my emotions flip-flop depending on the day, I am really excited to be starting a new chapter. Excited for our family and how we will bond together through this experience.
But - how do I say goodbye AGAIN? So many loved ones here...so much support and strength come from friends I have in this small little town. Some I have known since moving here - some I have recently become close with. This part is the part that sucks. The question is always, "Who will I stay in touch with? Who can I phone when I'm feeling lonely? Who will come visit?". I think I know the answers now, but only time will tell.
I will grow apart from some - some I already have(and we live so close!); but my hope is that we will still be remembered in prayer and love as we leave this "homebase" and branch out on our own. I can't imagine a more perfect place to raise a family - and yet, our hearts are already elsewhere.
Praying God blesses this journey and we are continually reminded that our decision was thought out, rational and part of His major plan.

27

This was a hard one for me to take in.
27?
Is it possible I'm this old?
Where did time go?
3 years til 30?
Oy...

I was given a nice day. Breakfast in bed, homemade cake, lots of kisses, well wishes from countless friends and family, and a "spring" walk all to myself. It was a great day and I felt truly honored and special.
My husband prides himself on being a great gift giver. I kid you not...this is a topic where he feels he can NEVER do wrong. Perhaps it's pride, ego or just delighting in himself for making me and others happy, but this year he got it right for sure.
On top of all the things I've already listed, he put on all the casing in our house and installed a new outside door yesterday. All things that I have been yearning to have finished for much too long - and I'm ashamed to admit, have not always had the patience to be silent and wait.
But the real gift he gave me was a notebook. Strange to you? Let me explain. Ever since I was young I have loved to create, imagine and explore my mind for ideas and thoughts and put them on paper. When I was in school, I always excelled (when I applied myself) at any English or writing course and my teachers believed I had promise. In college, we wrote children's stories and I found my dream/passion. It's something I want to really commit to later in life, but the dream is stil there each day and the ideas overflowing. So the notebook(leather bound and beautiful) is to help me direct the thought and have a place to organnize and create. Along with that, he bought a book about how to publish children's stories and already I am learning.
You know, you choose this person who you love and agree to cherish for life - and then you are surprised when they take interest or encourage you to pursue your passion, embrace your skill, and live out your dreams.
So ok, I'm 27 and yikes! and all that, but I also have lots of life yet to live, give and a legacy to leave behind me.
Perhaps books will come in the future?
But regardless, I will always have the love and support of him - my love. the "perfect gift giver"...lol...

Updates and reflections...

What was supposed to be a two-day job, turned into a week in Edmonton. Not only just there, but with my parents in their lovely big house with lots of space for the rug rats. They were so gracious and kind to allow us to stay longer than we thought, and we all (esp. the kids) enjoyed our lengthy visit with them.

It's interesting that bond between parents and children. Interesting that it can morph into friendship over "disciplinarian" or "authority". I like that. I like that I actually miss talking with my mom and hearing my dad preach, because I learn from them! Not only that, but we are able to joke and have fun together as well - who would've thought? lol...

And they are encouraging. When I have a hard day at home, I know I can always call and vent, or cry or complain, and they listen - then encourage.

Even at 27, they remain my comfort and security to know "Am I doing ok? Have I screwed up your granchildren? Will they need therapy?". It's nice. I love them. :)

And now for some updates on the aforementioned wee ones.

- In Edmonton, Connor showed some bravery, independence and free spirit when he CHOSE to do 2 rides at Galaxyland all by himself! He was fantastic and I couldn't help but feel proud that while atop his "big boy" motorcycle, he could clearly be heard yelling "Hurray! Huzzah Mommy! So fun!". My big boy.( Cut to flashforward of my seeing him go to school with cute backpack and lunch pail and this pregnant mama was holding back the tears...where did time go again?)

- Painting is his new love and often our pastime these last weeks of unbearably long winter.

- LOVES "Chitty, Chitty, Bang Bang!" and wants to constantly sing "Toot sweet" and "Truly Scrumptious".

- I'm teaching him more beats on his drums and I have to say, this boy has skill. He can drum (or clap) along with most songs and add his own rhythmn. Its amazing. Perhaps he will set me up with a cushy retirement plan when he makes it big with a drumming career.

- Sophie is not only fiercely dramatic, but quite the nurturer as well. She has taken on the job of equipping first herself, and then Connor with blanket and juice cups all day....even when Connor doesn`t want either...even when he says `Not now Soph`...she faithfully(and patiently) waits for him to realize `hmm...actually, I could have a drink` and there she is - beaming and ready to serve her big brother.

- She now says `hiiii`about 85 times a day and whenever she passes a tv. (She has also recently added `ba pa`(Papa) and `noooo` into her vocab.

- Her hair is long enough to put in pig tails and pony`s, but still wispy enough that she has some balder patches and tufts coming this way and that - but it`s too adorable!

- She loves to take all the Tupperware out of the drawer, and then very carefully put it all back in. (and I mean, I`m not sure where she gets this `clean up`attitude...must skip a generation!

They love to chase each other, wrestle and play hide-n-seek...their giggles make my day!

-

-

Sing a song...

My kids fell asleep listening to hymns being sung by faltering senior voices around them...not a bad way to start your night right?
I love hymns. They offer so much history, truth and praise in lyric, but also leave such a legacy you can't help but remember as you sing them.

We were visiting my 90 yr. old Gramma at her retirement home this evening, and decided to sit in on a sing-a-long that was happening there. I'm so glad we did. Who knew you could be so blessed and encouraged by sharing your voice with a choir of elders by singing honor and glory to our Lord?
We sang, "Let the lower lights be burning" and I looked around at the wrinkled faces - what were their stories?
When we sang "Does Jesus Care", I wondered if any were struggling with fear, loss or loneliness?
Even Connor chimed in on "Blessed Assurance". It was wonderful.

My family used to do services at nursing homes in our community - maybe once a month. We would lead a singing, do special music and my father would preach a short devotional. At the time, the LAST thing I wanted to do was spend couple of hours with old people I didn't know and sing songs. Of course, I see now how beneficial it was to have us experience that and I hope to have the same opportunity for my children as well. It might not be as often, but I do want them to embrace our "senior" citizens and respect them for who they are, what they have been through, and what they stand for. There is much to be learned there.

I'm not sure if it was pure exhaustion, or the soft lull of the piano/voices that put my sweets to sleep, but I'd like to think that tonight their little brains will replay some of the amazing words and promises they heard tonight. I know mine will and I'm so thankful for it.

time to kill...

It's a rare day. Hubby working, both babes asleep, cleaning done, dishes done, laundry fluffing and I find myself with time to kill.
Have not been motivated to blog lately...not sure why. I start so many, but either they don't make sense or I don't find relevance or I don't know how to complete what I've started.
It's not that things haven't been going on or that I feel I have nothing to share, but the words just don't seem to come. Perhaps writers block? Perhaps laziness...exhaustion?
So with this in mind - and with my short term of spare time I send this out into the world of web not expecting response, but simply hoping that this admission of "no words" or thought can get me back on track.
I miss the flow and I need the rhythmn that is "writing"...

Saw my baby today. It was amazing.
My miscarriage has made me a bit reluctant to share much news about this pregnancy. Being a "worrier" while pregnant only encourages that behaviour, and I always wait anxiously for that 20 week ultrasound to let me know baby is fine, moving and developing normally.
Of course, no one can predict things that go wrong after this day, but tonight I sleep well...with that precious face in my dreams, and know that he/she is doing alright.
Can't wait to meet you baby!

Survival...

It's an hour before hubby gets home.
And something changes in my house.
Somehow they know, or sense that I need to start supper. That I need to leave them and be in the kitchen. It's as if they save up all their bad behaviour and discontentment to use at this time...
One hour. You can handle anything for an hour right?
But it stretches on and the minutes drag by...

Complaining, whining...
"Mommy just needs a minute...she's making supper YUM!"
Wailing...screaming...hanging on whatever piecs of your body they can...
"I just need to get this ready sweetie, can you give Mommy a minute? Daddy will be home soon!"
Sob stricken, the child is now lying on the floor...devastated and feeling utterly un-loved by the busy Mom.

Is it like this for anyone else?
That final hour where my children turn into "things" that I don't recognize? Or like?

I refer to it as "survival of the fittest". Well, survival anyway.
Some days are better. Some days I have more patience and so do they. Some days I have a casserole or something that doesn't require constant attention.
THIS was NOT today!
And my hubby can see it immediately when he walks in. Exhaustion. Frustration. Anger. Failure
sigh...

there's gotta be a way to turn back their clocks somehow...

It's LOVE day!

I have not always been a Valentine's fan. It used to (and still does) bother me that prices to eat out on this Day are jacked, men are pressured to break the bank to please the "everyday" woman and women are expected to be uncomfortable in something new and "sexy" for the sake of the special Day.

One day.
Can you imagine basing how much someone loves you on just one day?
Or measuring love by the price of the gift, dinner or memory?

The great thing about being married on such a day, is that it's not about just ONE Day! It's about them all. I know many of our friends could never afford to give their wives diamonds or pearls - but they want too..not because there is an expectation, but rather they feel this is what their women deserve! Just knowing my husband WOULD if he COULD is enough for me on Valentine's Day. He shows me every day that he loves, admires and cherishes me and this Day is just a reminder of how lucky I am!
Of course it's nice to exchange something on such a day, but we generally have kept it to dessert and cards or letters. Something rich, gooey, and very bad for you goes extremely well with a note written with love by someone who sees me all the time and for some reason, still loves me!
So on this Day I am choosing to not get caught up with the world's view - but rather when the house is quiet, and it's just us, we'll light some candles, make some coffee and snuggle up to eat our treats and treasure each other for one more Day.

Mr. Sun...

Today was GORGEOUS outside!
I decided me and the kids needed to get outside and into some fresh air. So instead of shoving them into the stroller and dealing with crankiness - we left it behind and embarked on the slowest walk ever. Sophie had to stop and touch everything and Connor wanted to splash in all the puddles. But it didn't matter. The sun shone down on me warming me from head to toe, and I thought "let's just enjoy this". So we did. Although it was warm, my kids were bundled up as they are still carrying a bad coughs and runny noses, but they didn't seem to notice.
It was fun...it's been awhile since we have had "fun" outside...thank the Lord for chinooks! :)

Be of good cheer!

"Let us not become weary in doing good,for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up!"
Galatians 6:9


Things are back in full swing in this small town. Holidays are over and my routine is back to normal. Isn't it wonderful to have groups that you are a part of? I'm so thankful for the mom's groups I attend/ed and for the women in each of them. Without knowing it, they have inspired and encouraged me in so many ways, I couldn't possibly capture them all in this post.
Lately, the posts/comments I have been reading from moms in my community, seem to be about feelings of inadequacy, boredom, loneliness and striving to be better. I SO get that. It hits all of us - at times more than just one or two days a week - but take heart dear sisters! This is part of it! My mom has told me of so many times when she felt she did "wrong by us" or perhaps wasn't as "fun" as she thought she had to be...but I don't remember that. Sure I can recall certain instances when I disobeyed or acted defiantly and was reprimanded; but I can see now why punishment was given. I can see now why she NEEDED her time alone, or time to clean, or time to rest. As a kid I didn't get it, but I do now and I love her for taking that time. She showed and modeled for me how vital it is for a mother to have needs of her own.

Don't give up! The days WILL be hard, the battles long and the insecurities on the rise, but please don't give up. Be encouraged in the Word, in relationships and in the Lord. He is our strength and the source of our power.
And by all means, continue to post about it. Your struggles can be comfort to those who are also having a bad day and strength to those who know they are not alone.
Today was a good day for me and so I mean to encourage any who might read this. Tomorrow may be rough, and I will need the encouragement from others - thats a great gift that we moms have to give. Our experience, our struggles, what works, what doesn't...you never know who might be reading...

I am resolved!

Do you know that old hymn?

"I am resolved no longer to linger,
Charmed by the world's delight.
Things that are higher, things that are nobler,
These have allured my sight.

I am resolved to go to the Savior,
Leaving my sin and strife;
He is the true One, He is the just One,
He hath the words of life.`

Great song so full of truth and old time wisdom. We sang it alot at the first college I went to. (the VERY conservative college)

But it strikes me now because I have finally decided on resolutions for this year. I like to make a New Years decision, but I don't treat it as seriously as some - although it is good to set goals for onself. So each year I come up with a physical and spiritual resolution...and this year I'm adding marital.

1. Physically: well here's where I get to share some news. We are expecting our 3rd child in July (YAY), so because this will be my last (planned) pregnancy, I want to enjoy being pregnant without all the stress about weight gain and complaining about comfort. I want to be healthy and fit, but I also want to enjoy eating chocolate and whatever else I want (within reason). :) And I`m very excited as well! :)
2. Spiritually: I`ve been challenged lately to work on my prayer life. I`d like to spend quality time in prayer each day for loved ones, missionaries and our future as a family. My whole life I`ve been prayed for diligently by grandparents, parents, church members and people that barely know me. I want to give back some of what has been so graciously bestowed on me.
3. Maritally: This year one of the areas I desperately want to challenge myself in is patience...and that starts with my husband. It seems I can hold it together through disobedience, tantrums, screaming and clutter, but I have no tolerance for him somedays. That needs to change, and I`m hoping that this year (along with many other qualities I could improve on) that I can show more patience for Dave.

I have alot more I could work on I know, but I am resolved in these 3 areas and I encourage you to hold me accountable. My goals for this year can be easily achieved and I pray that I can find the motivation each day to work on myself, my marriage and my time in prayer.

Not wrong - just different

He likes Colgate.
I like Crest.

He likes onions, mushrooms and spicy food.
I like grilled cheese.

He likes winter...actually LIKES it!
I do not.

He can be irritating and insensitive.
I combat this with nagging and arguments.

He can get away with wearing stripes.
Me? Not so much.

He's always ready with hugs.
I'm better with words.

He's handy and clever.
I'm a sarcastic disaster.

When times get tough, het gets quiet.
Meanwhile, I can't stop talking

But it works.
Him and me. We work.
Why? Because we CHOOSE to. Today I chose to love...I don't always feel like it, it doesn't always come easy, but it's my choice. From now until there is no now, I will love - overcoming our gender and personal differences...love will be our home!

...and then there was one...

My son is spending a couple nights away and I just have my Soph while he's gone. We are having so much fun just the two of us and I'm learning more about her one-on-one.
I forget how nice it was with one. Although when I only had one, it still seemed like a lot, but now it is a luxury. I'd like to make time with my kids "one-on-one" as they get older too. Even if it's only for an afternoon every few months, I think it helps to get to know them away from the busyness of family, friends and regular craziness.
So I'm enjoying time with my sweet little lamb, while also missing my boy, but it is a good healthy break and I am loving it! :)